The Co-Sleeping Closet: Part 2

So where was I?  Oh yes, co-sleeping with one child in the bed and the other in my belly, wondering how on earth we were going to make this work once he came out.  We tried not to stress too much about it, because if Medium Boy had taught me one thing, it was that no matter how much I planned, he was really in control, not me.  But I was definitely worried about how Medium Boy was going to deal with becoming a big brother and sharing his Mama, and how on earth we were going to apply our parenting philosophies to two small children simultaneously.

And sure enough, once Baby Boy came home from the hospital, our first few nights were full of tears, and not from Baby Boy.  All Medium Boy wanted at bedtime was his Mamaaaaaaaaaa, and of course his Mama was tied up taking care of the newborn who usually wanted to nurse for hours on end in the evenings.  So effectively, we hid.  Baby Boy and I stayed downstairs, out of sight, while Dada and Medium Boy went upstairs to do bedtime.  It took some adjusting, but after a few days it became the new routine.  Once he finally fell asleep, Dada would send me an email from his smartphone (could we be anymore technologically savvy?) and let me know it was safe to come back upstairs, where Baby Boy would sleep for at least a few hours in his bouncy seat or pack and play next to our bed (way more than his big brother ever did).  Then I would nurse him in bed, and usually spend at least a few hours in the wee hours of the morning with him sleeping on my chest, gassy as could be, while I whacked him on the back and willed him with ever fiber of my being to go back to sleep.  Was it a perfect system?  Absolutely not.  But I slept a heck of a lot more during Baby Boy's newborn days than I ever did during Medium Boy's.

After a few months passed by, Medium Boy became more accustomed to sharing me with his brother, and soon we were able to integrate ourselves back into bedtime again.  And as crazy as our new routine became, I will count these moments as some of my favorite memories.  At bedtime, we would get jammies on, brush our teeth, then gather on our bed.  I would wrap Baby Boy in one of his (fantastic!) Kiddopotamus SwaddleMe wraps as Medium Boy and I would sing, to the tune of the Raffi song Baby Beluga, a song I made up called Baby Burrito. Baby Boy would smile as his big brother and I sang to him, and my heart would melt a little bit more every night.  Then we'd lie down in bed and I would nurse Baby Boy to sleep as Medium Boy and I read our three bedtime stories each night.  Baby Boy would peacefully nod off, then I'd put my sweet, swaddled boy down in the pack and play where he would sleep for at least a few hours all on his own.  It was magic.  Once he was down, I could snuggle with Medium Boy until he fell asleep too.  And then I would instantly pass out from exhaustion. :)

Looking back at all the time I spent fighting with Medium Boy, trying to get make him go to sleep and stay asleep in his crib by himself, it makes me wonder how different things would have been if I'd adopted the same approach with him.  But hindsight is 20/20.  Hopefully we've more than made up for our missteps by allowing him to continue sleeping snugly between us for so long.

Baby Boy would sleep peacefully for a few hours, then I would scoop him out of the pack and play, unswaddle him, nurse him and curl up with him to go back to sleep.  Neither one of us fully woke up, so there was no battle to get him back to sleep again, and as long as I was close-by, he was as happy as could be.  Let me pause to say that we've always followed safe co-sleeping practices...when Baby Boy was a little baby, I made sure to dress in warm jammies so I didn't need a blanket pulled up anywhere near where he was sleeping.  I was never under the influence of anything, and I'm a really light sleeper, so the second he stirred or moved, I was able to respond.  I also sleep like a rock, so I was never worried about rolling over on him or flailing around.  And he stayed on the outside edge of our bed, away from my hubby and Medium Boy, with me in between for protection.  Finally, our bed is not on a frame, so it's very close to the ground.  Just thought I should probably throw that in so anyone reading this knows that I was very cautious.  Co-sleeping has gotten a bad name lately, and if you're going to try it, you definitely need to do your research and find out how to do it properly.  In my opinion, most people fall asleep with their babies at some point and it's better to do it intentionally and safely than accidentally and unsafely.

So now here we are. Medium Boy is 2 and 3/4 and Baby Boy just turned 10 months. We still follow mostly the same routine except Baby Boy has long since rejected his swaddle, and he probably spends a few more hours in our bed now than when he was little.  He's also much more aware and mobile, which makes him a little easier to sleep with because I don't have to be as worried about his safety, but also harder, because he's all over the place when I'm trying to get him to sleep.  Our bed, which I should probably mention is a king, is getting more crowded by the day.  And we're finally, after a much-longer-than-anticipated renovation, getting ready to move to our new house.

We've always said that when we move, Medium Boy is going to move into his big boy bed in his own room, and we're definitely going to give that a go, but as I'm sure most things have been with him, we're just going to have to play it by ear and see how it goes.  I keep telling myself that someday he will be a surly teenager who wants nothing to do with us, so my hubby and I are both just trying to enjoy how much he loves us right now and give him a secure environment in which to grow up.  Aside from the fact that he's two (you know, terrible and all), he's turning into an exceedingly bright, loving boy, so I feel like we must be doing something right.

As long as Baby Boy is still nursing at night, and I'm not quite sure when we'll nip that one in the bud, I'm going to keep him in our room for my sake, since I get a lot more sleep when I don't have to fully wake up and walk between rooms to get him.  He may not co-sleep as long as his brother, but he very well may, and that's ok.  While I will never know for sure if it's a result of how we've been raising him or just his mellow temperament (or maybe a combination of both), Baby Boy is one of the sweetest babies ever, and he seems on track to be just as smart and curious as his big brother.

As I mentioned in the first part of this post, my husband and I did not go into this whole parenthood thing intending to be "attachment parents."  And to this day, we don't follow every single one of their principles (no, Medium Boy is not still nursing, and Baby Boy will not be nursing for too much longer).  But the more I read about attachment parenting in general, the more I agree with its philosophies.  It seems to make a lot more sense to me to follow my instincts while raising my children, and letting Medium Boy cry in his crib went against every instinct in my body.

Whenever someone asks me about our sleep situation (because, aside from poop, it's one of the most popular topics of conversation among Mamas), I tell them that Medium Boy still sleeps with us and that Baby Boy does part-time, joking that we are "those people."  I know that most people are smiling to my face while internally judging me as a nut-job, just like I did back in the day with my friend, and that's ok.  We all have to make our own decisions on how to raise our children, then cross our fingers and hope they turn out well.  All of us just have to hope that our unique formulas paired with the temperaments of our completely unique children will create productive citizens in the end.

So to wrap things up...is it easy to co-sleep?  In many ways, yes!  Especially if you're breastfeeding, you get a ton more sleep, and you will fight so much less with your children when you don't have to keep trying to get them back into bed.  But also no.  Sometimes I lament that it would be so much easier if my kiddos actually went to bed at a normal hour like most children do.  My hubby and I don't get much alone time, and I get very little "me" time, something I know most moms struggle with, but co-sleeping moms have it harder than most.  I wanted to write this post because I know how lost I felt during those long, long months that Medium Boy wasn't sleeping and I was a human zombie.  I hope that maybe, just maybe, somebody who has one of those anti-crib babies will read this and discover that there is another option out there.  It's a very different option from what most people think is "normal" but it can be a great option all the same.

As a Mama, I couldn't be prouder of the wonderful children we are raising.  They are truly my greatest accomplishments.  And I love being a parent so much that the next question is not whether we'll have more kids, but how many more to have, something I never in a million years would have guessed.

That being said, I think we might need a bigger bed.

The Co-Sleeping Closet: Part 1

Baby Boy stirs and I lean over to kiss him good morning. He looks at me and smiles a huge gummy smile, and we snuggle a little closer to start our day. I roll over and look at Medium Boy, his sandy hair splayed across his pillow, sleep still heavy on his features. If you’re following along you will note that I have two, yes two, children in our bed as we wake to start another day.

I didn’t intentionally choose to follow an attachment parenting philosophy and I certainly didn’t intend to co-sleep with my children as I was finding my way as a parent. While pregnant, I’d read Babywise, a book that emphasizes routines for babies as a blueprint to get them to sleep though the night sooner, and thought it sounded like a great philosophy…great, that is, until I met my first son. He was intense from the start—collicky as a newborn and the world’s worst sleeper from day one. I take that back…he was a GREAT sleeper when someone was holding him, but the minute I put him down in his crib, he instantly woke up and screamed bloody murder until someone picked him back up again. Bedtime was excruciating…nurse, down, up, repeat a few times, tiptoe out, waaaaaaaah!, and we’d start the dance again. And since he was still up several times at night to nurse and it was a battle every time I tried to get him back down again, I was a total zombie because I wasn’t getting more than 3 hours of sleep in a stretch. I was quickly losing my sanity.

I read every book out there…the No Cry Sleep Solution, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems and the Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems to name a few…and after each book I would try the techniques with the hope that something would change. But every time, those hopes would come crashing down as I stared at a red-faced, screaming infant looking at me with what could only be described as disdain as I tried “Ferberizing,” “Pick Up/Put Down” and the “Pantley Dance,” among other unsuccessful techniques. Now a 2.5 year old, my Medium Boy, whenever he stubs his toe, scrapes his knee or feels alone, cries “I want my Mamaaaaa!” and that must be was he was trying to say back then.

A friend who’d had her daughter a few months before I had Medium Boy had touted the wonders of co-sleeping, and while I smiled and nodded, I was really thinking what a loony toon she was for sleeping with her daughter (and yes, I’ve since told her she was totally right!). I was convinced that if I slept with my baby I would roll over and smoosh him instantly, despite the fact that the second he made the tiniest snuffle in his bassinet I was up and by his side immediately. But after weeks passed, then months, without getting one good night’s sleep, and you could practically trip over the dark circles under my eyes, I knew something had to change. I didn’t give up on making him love sleeping in his crib, because seriously, I didn’t want an 18 year old sleeping in our bed, but after fighting with him at his first wake-up and eventually getting him back to sleep, I allowed myself the luxury of scooping him out of his crib at that second wake-up and curling up with him to nurse and go back to sleep on the twin bed we had in the nursery. He slept. I slept. It was beautiful. But soon it became even harder to get him down at that first wake-up and I was going in to sleep with him earlier and earlier. My husband, who adamantly refused in the beginning to let him sleep in our bed, missed sleeping with his wife. So one night he consented, and pretty soon Medium Boy was a permanent fixture in our bed. The crib became a storage bin/cat bed. And you know what? That baby who used to wake up every 1-3 hours every night started sleeping through the night. And I became not only human, but also a much better parent. Go figure.

My husband—you know, the guy who was so adamantly against co-sleeping in the beginning—became a convert and enjoyed getting to cuddle with Medium Boy as he went to sleep and spend more time with him after work, because yes, once we started co-sleeping, he went to bed when we went to bed. And I love, love, loved being able to sleep with my arms wrapped around his neck, my nose in his soft baby hair. We knew that eventually we’d have to transition him out of our bed and into a big boy bed in his own room, and the intention was always lurking there, but we were all so darn happy that it kept getting pushed off into the indefinite future.

And then we found out that Baby Boy was on the way. Suddenly that indefinite future had a looming deadline. But then I was so sick with morning sickness, and then I was so tired, and then we were planning to move and thought it would be better to transition him into his new room, and the excuses just kept piling up and before we knew it, we were bringing home a newborn while the toddler still slept between us.

To be continued...

Tint Jeans

Today I'm wearing one of my two treasured pairs of size 12 Tint jeans. When I first put them on many years ago, I had no idea how long they would remain my favorite jeans.

When I bought them I was miserably unhappy at my last job, and I weighed the most I've ever weighed in my life (yes, that includes both pregnancies). I assume they fit me like normal jeans at that point, and I remember them being so comfortable that I went out and bought another pair in the exact same size and style so I would have two.

When I quit my job and lost a lot of weight they grew looser and looser until they were eventually folded and put in the back of my closet, my "fat jeans" that I didn't anticipate ever wearing again. But I just couldn't get rid of them because I loved them so much.

In December of 2008 I was pregnant for the first time, but literally days after rejoicing over the pregnancy I'd been wanting so badly for months, I miscarried. The jeans came back out when I forced myself to stop crying and venture out of my house to celebrate my 28th birthday with my friend Lauren. While I wasn't in physical pain, I just needed something more gentle to wear and my old Tint jeans were just the thing. I also wore the red Treasu(red) t-shirt that my friend LeShayne and sweet niece and nephew Tori and Tristan had sent me as a birthday gift...it meant even more to get something so sweet when I was feeling so down.

My sadness was thankfully short-lived when I found out I was pregnant with Carter in February of 2009. My Tint jeans were the last pair of jeans that I wore before buying my first pair of maternity jeans, and I wore them for quite some time with an elastic band around the button and a belly band around the top. After Carter was born, they were the first "real" jeans I fit back in to until I got the baby weight off, then they went back into the closet again until January of 2011 when I found out I was pregnant with Collin. I gradually outgrew them again as my belly grew larger, then once again pulled them out about a month after he was born.

And here we are once again in that in between phase. The weight is coming off a bit slower this time, and really I don't care so much that I'm not back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm wearing the extra 10 pounds as a badge of honor. My slightly softer, rounder shape is not from unhappiness like it was when I bought my Tint jeans years ago, but rather from the joy of being a mom.

Falling Asleep

I don't know if anyone is still reading this, but I want to start writing again, so here goes...

I try to sing him to sleep without curling up with him anymore since he’s two now—my medium boy—but today at naptime he wants to cuddle. He slips his silky head under my arm and wiggles his way under until my arm snakes around his neck, my hand wrapping around his head and resting atop his ear. I breathe in the smell of little boy…a tiny whiff of shampoo mixed with undertones of sweat (but not in a gross boy-sweat way, but the sweet-sweat of toddlerhood). I turn my head slightly to look up at the ceiling, but a quick hand darts out and pulls my cheek back, where a little face is looking at me. He presses his little lips to mine, then turns his head back around on his pillow and shuts his eyes.

“I love you, Carter,” I whisper.

“I love you too, Mama,” he whispers back before drifting off to sleep.

37 Weeks Pregnant = FULL TERM!!

Best Moment of the week: Making it to the 37 week mark today! I never thought I could be so proud of myself for being so lazy, but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm actually doing something very important by forcing myself to do nothing. When I started dilating and having contractions almost a month ago, I'd really prepared myself for having a preemie, and I was scared to death about it. But with each day that goes by, I'm grateful for Collin having that much more time to be prepared to face the world...whenever it is that he decides to come. Will we actually make it to September, after all?

My doctor's appointment this week was relatively uneventful since it's perfectly normal for a 37 week pregnant woman to be where I am right now. I have progressed since last week...I'm now 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced, and his head is really low (she said it's about -3 right now). I'm still measuring small (about 34 weeks instead of 37) but I'm guessing part of that has to do with how low he is right now and how early he "dropped." I haven't had trouble breathing at all with this pregnancy, while with Carter I was totally winded for the last few months because he was crowding my lungs. I had a sonogram to check my fluid levels, which were fine, and if I make it to next week, they will check his size again. She wasn't able to get any good pictures because he's face down, back out, but since that's where we want him to be she didn't encourage him to smile for the camera. :)

Contraction-wise, it was a slow week until yesterday. I had contractions all evening and thought for sure we were going to end up in the hospital, but once again, I went to sleep and they stopped. I was up to pee several times and at my 5:00 pee, they started up again and were coming every 10 minutes until after 6 when I fell back asleep. We made sure everything was packed and in the car when we came over to Pinellas for the day today (Glenn is working on the house, I'm over at my parents'), including installing Collin's carseat (!!) just in case we needed to head to the hospital today. There have been more contractions throughout the day today, but nothing regular or intense, so we're still in a holding pattern...which is FINE with us! Hang out, Collin!

We had a nice visit with some of our cousins today, Kathy and Jim Grady. Kathy wasn't able to make it over for my sprinkle next weekend so they came over for a visit this week instead. Since Carter usually has "stranger danger" I didn't have high hopes for him being terribly friendly, but he did GREAT with them! He was sweet and cheerful the whole time, no tears whatsoever, and I was so proud to show him off. He was of course terribly precocious and smart as ever. :)

Epiphany of the week: We took Carter to the "sibling class" at the hospital, and it didn't go terribly well! I came to the conclusion (after the fact, of course) that this class was meant more for the 4-6 year old siblings, and definitely not the under-2's! He was just all over the place and wasn't getting anything out of it (aside from distracting everyone else), so we stuck it out until they brought out the baby dolls since I thought he might enjoy that, but it didn't go so well. He immediately said "eye" and poked the baby in the eye!! Oh Carter, please don't do that to your little brother when you meet him! So I guess my epiphany was that Carter is probably not quite ready to be a big brother, and this very well could be a bit more difficult that I was even anticipating. But he could just as easily go the other way, so that's the outcome I'm hoping for!

Entertaining question/comment/story of the week: Here are a few of Carter's brilliant quotes of the week:

- We've been watching the Leapfrog "Letter Factory" DVD lately, which teaches kids the letters and sounds they make, and it's become a new favorite! Carter now (after watching it maybe 5 or so times) knows almost all of the letter sounds in addition to the word he associates with each one, so when you ask him, for example, what F says, he'll say "F-F-F-Flower!!" with such gusto. He really loves this stuff, and I love it, too!

- When Kathy and Kim were visiting today, the girls were sitting in the living room and the guys were sitting in the dining room (as usually happens) and Carter played in with us for a little while then ventured out to the dining room where he "sat with the guys." Too cute!

- After they left, my dad said he was surprised how well Carter did with Kathy and Jim. I said "Me too!" and Carter chimed in with "Me three!"

Obsessions: What day will Collin's birthday be??

What I am most looking forward to this week: We've actually made plans to see some friends this week, which should be nice, assuming I make it that far! We'll hopefully get to have lunch with my friend Kara, a visit with my friend Meg and her son Hunter, and a visit from my friend Kim, her son Nathan and her new baby girl Caitlin...Collin's future girlfriend! But who knows!

What I miss the most: Still hurting, hurting, hurting. But I know that as crappy as my sleep is right now, it's about to get worse, so I'll take it while I can! :)

Symptoms: 2 cm, 75% effaced, head is very low.

Milestones:

Your baby is now considered full term, even though your due date is still three weeks away. If you go into labor now, his lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb. He weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long.

Weight: 158

36 Weeks Pregnant

Best Moment of the week: Amazing how even when I'm keeping the couch warm, I didn't have time to blog last weekend. Or maybe it's just because I've been too busy holding my breath! It's amazing how quickly the weeks are flying by, even with nothing going on. I thought they would start to drag toward the end, but thankfully that's not the case.

Highlights over the past two weeks include my first baby sprinkle with my wonderful moms' group, Modern Moms of Tampa. I was an hour late for it because my doctor's appointment took forever (see below) but the ladies held out in the HOT park until I got there and it was so nice. We got all kinds of goodies including lots of diapers, wipes, bibs, and even a few handmade goodies...a cross-stitched bib and a crocheted hat. So sweet! I'm so lucky to have such a great group of moms as a support system. Now the question is, will I make it to my other sprinkle on August 28th?? Or will Collin be joining us?

Hmm, what else? Our house permit finally was approved and there has been plenty of work (both before and after permit, actually) going on. The new house is still a complete disaster, but at least it's moving in the right direction. Glenn had already done a lot of gutting (everything out of the kitchen and ripped apart the back room, which was a sunroom that had not been converted properly from a porch and needed a lot of work). The walls that needed framing should be finished today, and the plumber and electrician will hopefully start working tomorrow along with the new windows and doors going in. My dad fixed some of the plumbing in our shower, and Glenn put in our pretty new bathroom vanity. Glenn and our friend Dan wired the house for phone/cable/internet yesterday and Dan was pressure washing the outside of the house today so it can be repainted. There's still a lot to be done, and realistically, it will still be a couple more months until we can move in to a finished house, but we're getting there. Still to come: electrician, plumber, insulation, drywall, new cabinets (purchased from IKEA this week!) going into the kitchen (then it takes 3 weeks to get a countertop fabricated, sheesh!), painting inside and out, new carpet in the bedrooms and our pretty new faux-wood vinyl plank floor in the rest of the house, tile in the back room, then baseboards and trim work in the whole house. And then moving out of our house and into the new one. Phew! And guess who can't do anything to help?? Oh yeah, that would be me!!

I had two doctor's appointments since my last post. One was the day of my sprinkle, and I had dilated to 1-2 cm, still 50% effaced, and he was measuring small, so I had a sonogram. It was nice to see the little guy...he looks totally smooshed in there, though! He's measuring at the 19th percentile (10th percentile is when they would worry) and they guessed his weight was about 4 lbs 11 oz as of 8/5. At the appointment this week, I hadn't changed too much, which is good, and his heart rate was up high in the 170's (I think it was because his big brother was SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER when the doctor came in to see his mama) but it went back down to his baseline in the 150's after my exam. Dr. Reiss said it's good that his heart rate was active because it shows that he is doing well and my placenta is still working.

On the not-so-good front, I had another labor scare on Monday of this week. I started having contractions in the morning, and while they never developed a consistent pattern, they lasted ALL DAY LONG, anywhere from 4 minutes to 30 minutes apart, over and over again. I was very uncomfortable. :( Thankfully my mom was there, and while I didn't tell her this was going on until later in the day because I didn't want her to worry, if I had I actually gone into labor, she was there to help, and she stayed late to help with Carter until Glenn got home. I called my doctor's office right before they closed at 5, and they thought I may likely have to go into the hospital, and since I was past the 35 week mark, they probably wouldn't have done too much to stop the labor. (EEEEK!) They told me to drink a lot of water over the next hour, and if I had 4 or more contractions over the course of that hour, to call back and talk to the on-call doctor (Dr. Dill) and see what she thought. Of course I did, so I talked to her (after making sure everything was packed and ready to go and that Glenn was on his way home to drive me) and she said to just wait it out. If they developed more of a pattern (closer to 5 minutes apart for an hour, and more painful) then I should call back/come in, but otherwise just wait it out. So that was a relief. I still thought for sure I would go into labor that night and I was totally emotional when I was getting Carter to bed that night. (Yes, crazy pregnant woman, party of one) The contractions kept going until I fell asleep, but in the morning, they had stopped. Phew!

Other than that, it's been pretty quiet around here. My mom has been over at our house a lot, and we've been over at my parents' house, too, on days that Glenn is working on the house, since I have to be "babysat." So we haven't had much of a social life lately or seen much daylight. Carter and I have been taking daily naps together, which is heavenly. I usually work through his naps, but it's been nice to just conk out with him and get some rest. It's been miserably hot and there has been a ton of rain, so if we're going to be stuck inside, now is the time for it!

Epiphany of the week: I might just make it to my due date...maybe.

Entertaining question/comment/story of the week: Here are a few of Carter's brilliant quotes of the week:

- He climbed into his high chair while we were making lunch in the kitchen and called out, "Mama, Cee Cee, where are you guys?"

- He now knows a word for each letter of the alphabet...A is for apple, B is for baby, C is for Carter and Collin and Cee Cee, etc. Today we saw a Circle K sign and he said "K is for kite!" He loves it when he recognizes letters, numbers and shapes out in the world.

- He brought out some letters to me and Glenn last night and said "Let's build a word!" (We've been watching a lot of a show called Word World and that's from a song they sing.) We built L-I-P and then he ran around saying "Carter built a lip!" And then we proceeded to build a lot more words with a lot more letters. So much fun!

Obsessions: Making it to 36 weeks, hooray! Now every day when I wake up I wonder, "Will this be Collin's birthday?"

What I am most looking forward to this week: I signed Carter up for a big brother class on Thursday. Assuming I make it that far, it should be fun! (And will give us an idea of how he'll do at the hospital, yikes!) Then I have another doctor's appointment on Friday. At this point, I think I'm most looking forward to meeting my little guy! Though he can wait at least one more week until he's full-term.

What I miss the most: Not hurting...the aches and pains are really getting to me, especially at night.

Symptoms: 1-2 cm dilated and a bit more than 50% effaced with his head "very low." It was difficult for her to check my cervix this week because she had to go around his head to get to it. If that sounds uncomfortable, it's because it was!

Milestones:

Your baby is gaining about an ounce a day. He now weighs almost 6 pounds (Collin is probably a bit smaller than this) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. He's shedding most of the downy hair that covered his body, as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that protected his skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Next week, your baby will be considered full-term. (WOO HOO!)

Weight: 156.5

34 Weeks Pregnant

Best Moment of the week: Hmmm...I won't say this week has sucked completely because I am grateful for every day that I keep my little Collin in my belly, but it has certainly been a trying week. After being told I needed to take it easy at my last doctor's appointment, I cleared my calendar quite a bit. We still did manage to get in a fun playdate with my moms' group, where we got all of the current preggos together for a picture and dished on being pregnant while the kiddos played nicely. (I LOVE Carter's new-found independence!)

Thursday I had another doctor's appointment and while again, she wasn't planning on checking me, I made her check me, and then I watched her face grow concerned when she realized that my cervix had effaced 50% over the course of one week, and his head (previously breech) was already very low. While the word bedrest was never spoken, she told me I needed to take it very, very easy. Sit/lie down as much as possible, get as much help as I can. If I go into labor over the next two weeks (which she implied was quite possible), I will go to the hospital and they will attempt to stop the contractions until I get to 36 weeks at which point I'm fair game. Yikes. So while I was planning on having a September baby, it's now very likely that I will have an August baby.

So we decided that I need to be supervised at all times in case I go into labor and need someone to take me to the hospital. When Glenn went to work on the house this weekend, Carter and I went to my parents' house. We stayed pretty low key on Saturday, but decided to venture out a bit. We went to our favorite baby consignment shop, Stellie Bellies, then went to Lowes to pick up some paint samples and quote out carpet for the new house and took them down to Glenn. Later, my dad and I went back to Lowes to pick something up for Glenn, then went down to the house again, where I painted the samples on the wall. NOT a crazy, strenuous day by any means. But my body was yelling at me by the time we got back to my parents' house, and as we were driving home that night, I started having contractions. They weren't crazy intense by any means, but soon they formed a pattern and were coming every 10 minutes and lasting about 3:30 each. (Yes, I found an app for my iPhone to time contractions!) We got home and I laid down on the couch to try and get them under control, but they didn't stop. So I called my doctor's office and left a message for the on-call doctor, then went to take a warm bath since that was recommended by the midwife I saw this week, and thankfully that helped. By the time my doctor called back (and was not terribly friendly after being disturbed at 8:00 on a Saturday night), the last contraction had taken 12 minutes to come instead of 10 and she told me that as long as they didn't get any more intense or closer together, to just keep relaxing, but if anything changed, I would need to come in. Thankfully that was the last contraction I had that night. But it was a huge wake-up call for me. If I don't take it EASY-easy (not even just kind of easy), Collin very well may come weeks before he's supposed to.

Epiphany of the week: I am not in control. All I can do is behave myself as best I can and hope that's enough.

Entertaining question/comment/story of the week: Here are a few of Carter's brilliant quotes of the week:

"Mama has glasses. Cee Cee has glasses, too!"

He actually sang the whole ABC Song, and at the end he sings "Next time won't you sing with me, yaaaaaaaay!!!" (Since I cheer for him every time he sings it...now he cheers for himself, too!)

Obsessions: Keeping Collin in my belly!

What I am most looking forward to this week: Hopefully I will make it to my baby sprinkle on Friday. I have a doctor's appointment first, so hopefully I will make it that long!

What I miss the most: My chance of a September delivery.

Symptoms: Still 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced with his head "very low." I am now conscious of my cervix and just feel progress going on down there. Which would normally be exciting, but I would really like it to just chill out!

Milestones:

Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. His fat layers – which he'll need to regulate his body temperature once he's born – are filling him out, making him rounder. His skin is also smoother than ever. His central nervous system is maturing and his lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies. (GOOD TO KNOW!!)

Weight: 154

P.S. This actually happened this week, not during week 34, but I don't think we'll be moving until after Collin gets here. Our renters are getting antsy and since it's not looking like we'll be able to move in the 2 weeks we promised them, I think they're going to find another place. This is one part sad news, because I would rather have friends living here than strangers, but it does take a lot of pressure off of us, so I'm going to think of it as a good thing. There is too much going on with my crazy body to deal with trying to move into a construction zone right now! :)